Sorry its been a while
Those who know me, especially my poor endearing wife know that I have been in or certainly entering a dark place. Injury is tough, especially when it stops you doing the thing you do to de stress, unload, or just feel good.
I have had to cancel all this years plans and change all next years too. This changing of plans did give me some focus at the time but shortly after I was back into the spiral downwards. I know full well that alcohol is often the easiest get out and running enabled me to curb that a good deal, these last few weeks though it just got heavier and heavier, drinking whilst laid on the couch felt like a good idea. In all honesty, I felt like I’d lost my identity. I was no longer that crazy guy on a treadmill, that guy wanting to push limits, I had become in all fairness a drunk bum feeling sorry himself and I saw no way out.
My awesome wife accepted this but then quite sharply pointed out that it wasn’t acceptable. It kind of sunk in, but the “what do nonrunner know” mindset was in full force.
It’s been six weeks since I broke myself, 42 days since I ran or circa 1000 hrs at the time of writing. 1000 hrs …………. It’s a little bit of a juxtaposition that I use that 1000 because I always use the smallest number whilst running and yet, here I am using that massive number. Even if I ran 1000 km I’d be doing it in 10k slots at most but I’m allowing the massive number to beat me….
Last weekend saw a shift change though. I went to the running show, I think I was the only one there on crutches, but it didn’t matter. I met with friends I’ve not seen face to face for over 18 months and I met others I’ve never met other than via social media. I rubbed shoulders with the elite and the crazy, I felt a weight lift.
I watched various people talk about their journeys, the trials, and tribulations that they had gone through. I watched friends drool over Olympians, I itched to go and see the crazy folk, the folk I most connect with, the people that decide that the human body is more capable of anything we can think of and want to prove that fact, in essence, in my mind, “my tribe”. Someone asked, “do you just look for the people in crutches?” A very fair point I surmised as taking your body to its limits does have its implications.
Amanda, my long-suffering wife, crew, crying wall was very happy as she finally saw me smile again, it wasn’t the smile just for show either, it was the kind of big fat cheesy grin you have when truly happy.
Saturday saw that smile start, I was with my tribe, I was with my loving wife, I was truly happy. Sunday however was a whole new ball game, firstly I got to laugh at those hungover fools but then I sat for nearly 3 hours watching different people talk and come lunch time I was done. I was set. I was fixed. My mojo had returned!
I have been more careful in my recovery from injury this time than ever before and I’ll be just as careful in the rehab, I’ve already said the next two month are for me, for me to enjoy, for me to embrace that feeling we get whilst running. After that, it’s back to the grindstone though and training for my new challenge for 2022 and I really can’t wait. #couchto200miles here we go!!!
