A turning point?

In order to take control of our lives and accomplish something of lasting value, sooner or later we need to learn to believe. We don't need to shift our responsibilities onto the shoulders of some deified spiritual superman or sit around and wait for fate to come knocking on our door. We simply need to believe in the power that's within us, and use it. When we do that, and stop imitating others and competing against them, things begin to work for us.

The Tao of Pooh – Benjamin Hoff

I set myself a goal to break a world record. This was mainly brought on by the need to do something extra to get sponsorship from friends and family as I fund raise every year and the challenges I have set have only gotten bigger.

So back to the above quote, it takes a lot of self-belief to be able to break a record that is already set, and for this particular one I think it takes a lot of time and commitment to train for it too. I didn’t take it on lightly however and it will have been 18 months or so in the making.

The whole concept of breaking a world record was designed around fundraising and raising awareness for mental health and CALM in particular as since going through counselling myself a couple of years ago I vowed to raise awareness for mental health and have found a perfect outlet for that in my running.

It has been such a motivator to see the positive impact that my posts have made on people with comments like “I wasn’t going to run today but saw your post so went and did it” It really hits home how much running can help.

I’ve always been able to run and have raised £1000s doing so but never with a sole aim. This last year has seen that change, and I have been astonished and humbled by the impact that some of my posts have had on people. Either by giving motivation for them to complete a run or by connecting with them when they hear my story.

June has also been an emotional roller coaster. I too have sought motivation and instead found disillusionment through my own self-doubt, I am sure that no matter the distance we are training for, we all have those moments and luckily I have a great coach who re-instilled the idea of “trust the plan”. This was never truer than this last week when I ran three marathons in one day and at the right pace (the bench mark) and then managed to carry it on to 200 km in 3 days.

I think, now that I can reflect a little, that these runs played more of an effect on my mind than simply a confidence boost. The simple fact that I got up on day 4 and was good to go again was a great sign but I also had another “wobble”. It’s really difficult to explain, I suppose the easiest way is to imagine running a race and finishing it, but then holding back all of that emotion, I did that for 3 days straight and didn’t really sing and dance about it at the end. Okay I may have posted a screen shot here and there but that was about it. So today has been weird, fighting the head squirrels that say I should be aching and unable to walk, fighting the waves of elation that I’ve achieved something I have never done as well as the fear of what is to come, in short it has been an “odd” day.

I am lucky that I have managed to meet so many fabulous people especially within the running community but also further afield, and it has been tragic again to hear of two losses within the ultra-community in particular. I did not know either of the guys but watching the outpouring of love for them shows how much they meant. In carrying on that topic, my beard is pink still for Victoria, another shining light that I did not know personally but who I knew of and the massively positive impact that she had on other lives too, after my first marathon on Monday I came home to find the medal I had earned doing a half marathon in her name.